First Day of Preschool Ritual
A very first day of school or preschool is a monumental life passage for a child and for parents, as well. It truly symbolizes the beginning of the process of leaving home and being on one’s own in the world. Although the completion of this process is years away, the experience for the child of being on one’s own in a school setting sets the stage for many more experiences of creating a distinct life path away from parents.
Begin this sweet family ritual by creating an altar together. Child and parents work together to express what this big step means in the child’s life. What does going to preschool mean to each of you? Child, parents, and even grandparents and older siblings bring symbols that suggest what going to school and going out into the world means. These symbols can be found objects, drawings, family heirlooms, or anything that is meaningful to the family members. Take several days to create this altar and talk about each object as it is added. Here are some examples:
A hairbrush to symbolize that we put ourselves together with care to go into the world.
A cuddly toy to symbolize that love and nurturing are always with us no matter where we are.
A bud to symbolize new life about ready to open into beauty.
Every day look at and touch the symbols and talk over what they mean. Make sure that adults include their positive wishes for the child as she takes this big step.
On the morning of the first day of preschool, set aside plenty of time for the ritual part of the morning so you won’t have to rush through it. Let the child take one symbol from the altar to carry with her for the day. You can pin it into your child’s clothes so that the feeling symbolized by the object is near. Tell your child that the single object carries with it all the power of the whole altar and all the wishes that are symbolized in the altar.
Direct your child to pause before she steps out the door. Tell your child that she is changing as she takes the next step. Ask her if she is ready to become a preschooler. Let her answer. Ask her a few questions about the symbolic work you have done with the altar like, “Will you remember that you are always loved and cared for even when you are not at home?” and “Will you remember that there will always be people to help you if you need help, even if Mommy and Daddy are not nearby?” You’ll have to think about what questions will empower her and not frighten her. In your own way, with your own questions that actually become sacred vows for your child, create a real portal of transformation for her so that at an age appropriate way she can step up to being a bigger and more mature girl. It should be very exciting for her. As she steps out the door say to her, “You are changed; you are now a preschooler.”
Have a special lunch or dinner for her and maybe a little present when she comes back from her first day. Treat her like a changed being – she has accomplished a heroine’s journey and she has come back home changed.
You might save one of the objects from the altar for other transition rituals later in life.
Personal Story
My own daughter is college shopping right now. When she was a little girl she went through a very challenging time. A wonderful child counselor that we used, directed her to create a little clay doll about four inches high; my daughter named this doll “Mrs. Power.” Mrs. Power was very instrumental in helping my daughter through the difficult childhood time. When that period was over for my daughter, I managed to salvage Mrs. Power and save her for another meaningful moment that I knew would present itself.
It was on the last college visit away from our hometown that I included Mrs. Power in our travel altar. Both my daughter and I remembered the divine guidance that Mrs. Power had facilitated for her and knew that, in this life passage, as well, that divine guidance was always available.
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